Tales From The Crib: Tanya

I am a single mommy to a beautiful five-year-old baby boy. Five years back I gave birth to him and my whole life changed. Not only did I become a mother but I had to become a sole care giver to him. Luckily, my mom, dad and my sisters were always there to help me. My son is growing up in a house full of strong female figures and I couldn’t be happier. He is a kind and gentle soul and it amazes me how much he cares about his friends and his family. Every time I look at him I feel like he was the best decision I ever made. I am currently rebuilding my life with the love of my life my son and taking each day at a time and growing with him.

WPC: What have been your biggest challenges since becoming a parent?

Tanya: As a single parent my biggest challenge is trying to do it all. Being the only parent I have to make sure I am making the best decision, earning, keeping the house clean and showing up at every school event. Its challenging when you are always consumed by mom guilt and you keep doubting yourself and struggling to be the kind of parent I want to be.

WPC: What have you found helpful to address these challenges?

Tanya: I take it one day at a time and I am trying not to beat myself up for missing volunteering for his school. I try to engage my whole family in his life so he never feels like he is missing out on a family. Its a constant struggle but some day are better than others.

WPC: If you could go back in time, what would you tell your pregnant self?

Tanya: I would def tell myself that the tough part is after giving birth. I was so worried about the pain of giving birth that I didn't focus on the process of after birth. I would take more time to mentally prepare for not sleeping and also setting boundaries after giving birth with people. I had to entertain guests right after giving birth when they came to see the baby. I would def tell myself to set boundaries. Also, I would tell myself to prepare for a kind of love you have never experienced before.

WPC: If you could, what is one thing you’d change about parenthood in our culture?

Tanya: I would change the expectation of having the perfect life for new mothers. Moms are expected to never screw up, always be happy and talk only about the positives of motherhood. I want people to know being a mom is beautiful but sometimes it really sucks. Some days are so hard and people need to accept that parenting can suck sometimes too.

For additional support in navigating the challenges of single parenting, consider exploring our family therapy services. If you’re preparing for the postpartum period, our lactation consultation services can offer valuable guidance and support.