Setting Boundaries Around the Holidays. By Registered Psychotherapist (Qualifying) Lani Lipson

Setting boundaries in postpartum relationships, especially around the holiday season, can be
particularly challenging due to heightened expectations, family dynamics, and the emotional and physical recovery process after childbirth.

However, setting up healthy and clear boundaries at this period is crucial for both your family's and your own well-being. During the postpartum phase, the following advice can help you establish boundaries with friends, family, and partners:

Tip #1: Communicate Your Needs Clearly and Compassionately

• Be Honest

• Set Realistic Expectations

• Use "I" Statements

Tip #2: Set limits on Visitors

• Establishing Visiting Hours

• Keep Visits Short

• Ask for Help When Needed

Tip #3 Manage Family Expectations

• Be Clear About Holiday Plans

• Make New Traditions

• Get on the Same Page as your Partner 

Tip #4 Embrace "No" Without Guilt

• Learn to say no: Saying no to events, visitors, or activities that don’t serve your well-being is not selfish—it’s necessary. You don’t have to justify your decisions or explain yourself.

• Recognize that this season is temporary: Postpartum recovery is a fleeting phase, and setting boundaries now will help you regain your strength and establish a healthy foundation for you and your baby.

Tip #5 Adjust Expectations Around Holiday Traditions

• There are already enough stresses around the holidays. If a tradition isn't possible this year, be willing to change it or forego it. Your loved ones will probably understand if you keep things low-key.

• Pay attention to what counts most: The purpose of the holidays should be to foster joy, serenity, and connections. There are still meaningful ways to celebrate without going overboard.

We hope these tips inspire you to set boundaries that you feel good about. If you want some more help around this topic, please reach out to work with Lani or to be matched with a therapist to meet your needs.