The Non-Birthing Parent Matters Too: Queer Mental Health After Baby
By Bridgit Ganson, Registered Social Worker Psychotherapist
Queer families are often formed with deep intention, resilience, and love—but they also exist within systems that were not designed with them in mind. For non-birthing parents in 2SLGBTQIA+ families, the postpartum period can be just as emotionally intense and identity-shifting as it is for the birthing parent—yet their mental health needs often go unseen.
Perinatal care is still largely built around cisgender, heterosexual norms. From healthcare forms that ask only for “mother” and “father,” to support groups that assume binary gender roles (think ‘Mommy and Me’), to postpartum practices that prioritize physical recovery alone—these structures threaten to exclude and invalidate the experiences of queer families.
This Pride Month at The Well Parents Centre, we’re highlighting the mental health needs of non-birthing queer parents. Their roles, identities, and emotional transitions deserve to be seen, respected, and supported.
Parenting Without a Map
Non-birthing parents face many of the same postpartum stressors as any new parent: disrupted sleep, shifting roles, heightened responsibility, and identity change. But they also encounter unique emotional challenges that often go unspoken, such as:
● Feeling excluded: From medical appointments to parenting classes and community spaces, non-birthing parents are often treated as secondary or optional.
● Minimizing their own distress: Some parents feel they “shouldn’t” be struggling because they didn’t give birth, and may downplay or ignore their mental health needs.
● Lack of community: Many parenting groups cater to cis/het family structures, leaving queer parents without relatable peer support.
These stressors are compounded by the emotional labor that non-birthing parents often take on—managing logistics, caregiving, and emotional support for a partner or family—without adequate validation or care themselves.
Not Just About Inclusion—About Belonging
Support for non-birthing queer parents isn’t simply about checking a box or using the right language—it’s about creating a culture of belonging in perinatal mental health care.
That means recognizing their role in the family, understanding the specific emotional burdens that systemic exclusion creates, and offering care that affirms both their identity and their experience as parents.
Meaningful Support For Queer Non-birthing Parents Includes:
● Mental health screening for all parents: Anxiety, depression, and trauma are not exclusive to those who give birth.
● Affirming language and intake processes: Replace “mom and dad” with “parent,” “co-parent,” or the person’s chosen title. Make space for self-definition.
● Normalizing the adjustment: Becoming a parent is a major life transition. All parents need space to reflect, grieve, adapt, and ask for help.
● Access to queer-affirming therapy: Clinicians who understand the nuances of identity, visibility, and family formation in queer communities can provide more meaningful care.
When Neither Parent Gives Birth
In some queer families, parenthood begins through adoption, surrogacy, or fostering. These paths can be joyful and transformative—but also carry unique emotional complexities, including:
● Navigating legal or medical systems that don’t recognize both parents
● Experiencing grief around not carrying the child
● Navigating institutional processes
● Facing assumptions that you’re not “really” postpartum
For families in which neither parent has physically given birth, there is often even less recognition of the need for emotional support. But these parents, too, are navigating sleepless nights, new routines, and the identity shift of becoming caregivers. Their mental health matters—and should be supported from day one.
Pride Is About All Families
Pride Month is not just about visibility—it’s about justice, dignity, and belonging. It’s a time to uplift queer families who are parenting in systems that still erase, minimize, or misunderstand them.
What We Offer at Well Parents Centre
● As a queer and queer-affirming therapist, I work with individuals and couples navigating the full perinatal spectrum—from fertility, pregnancy, and loss, to birth, postpartum, and early parenting. I provide a warm, nonjudgmental space where you don’t have to explain or justify your family structure or identity.
● At The Well Parents Centre, we are committed to providing a space where queer families feel seen, safe, and supported throughout their entire parenting journey.
○ Individual psychotherapy for birthing and non-birthing parents
○ Couples therapy that centers communication, connection, and shared transitions
○ Support for navigating fertility challenges, donor conception, and surrogacy
○ Affirming care for grief, loss, and postpartum mental health
Whether you're adjusting to life with a newborn, managing identity shifts in early parenthood, or feeling the weight of being unseen in traditional systems—you're welcome here.
Happy Pride from all of us at The Well Parents Centre
Let’s continue building a world where every parent’s experience is seen, supported, and celebrated.
About The Author
Bridgit Ganson is a Registered Social Worker with a Master of Science in Mental Health Counselling from the University of Massachusetts Boston and nearly two decades of experience supporting individuals, couples, and families.
She supports couples navigating infertility, pregnancy and postpartum transitions, parenting challenges, grief and loss, termination for medical reasons, infidelity, emotional disconnection, and communication breakdowns. Her approach integrates Internal Family Systems (IFS), the Gottman Method, and attachment-based therapy to help partners deepen their understanding of one another, repair ruptures, and strengthen their connection. She is committed to affirming and supporting 2SLGBTQ+ couples at all stages of family-building and relational growth.
To work with Bridgit or to learn more about our team, contact us HERE.