Tales From The Crib: Jaclyn
Jaclyn was born and raised in Canada but moved to Italy after falling in love. She now lives in Italy with her husband and two kids, but still holds Canada near and dear to her heart.
Well Parents Centre: What have been your biggest challenges since becoming a parent?
Jaclyn: My biggest struggle was dealing with an internal battle with myself regarding how to manage my time. At the beginning I remember feeling almost jealous of my husband for not appearing to have any regrets about dedicating time to himself on occasion. After going back to work, I felt badly about even thinking of going out for dinner with friends or colleagues after work. I felt that I should rush home and be with my daughter...and of course I loved and cherished my time with her, but at times I felt like I had no time for myself.
WPC: What have you found helpful to address these challenges?
Jaclyn: Luckily I talked about it!! I shared these thoughts with my husband and it was him that made me realize that it was a problem that I was creating within myself. He told me that he’d actually enjoy some one on one time with our daughter as well.
It might seem strange, but now that we have two children, I actually allow more time for myself than I did before. I go out for dinners with friends, I go get my nails done. And I feel much more relaxed!
I’m far from being a perfect mom, but I feel much closer to being the mom I aspire to be because I give myself more me time.
WPC: If you could go back in time, what would you tell your pregnant self?
I would tell myself that no one will know or understand your baby the way you will.
You have a bond that goes 9 months beyond anyone else’s. That despite the fact that you have no experience as a mother, that you will feel like you have no idea what you are doing, and that you doubt whether you have any motherly instinct at all, you DO know what’s best for your baby.
There will be so many people that feel they have the right to tell you what you should do, or give you a million suggestions. But at the end of the day, don’t doubt yourself and just go with your gut! Mommy always knows best!
WPC: If you could, what is one thing you’d change about parenthood in our culture?
Jaclyn: I’m Canadian, and I’ve been living in Italy for 13 years. I’m neither a typical Canadian mom nor a typical Italian mom....I’m a strange mix of the two.
One of the biggest cultural differences I experience is the extent to which a mother in Italy is expected to protect their child. I don’t mean protect in terms of safety, but more so regarding life’s realities. I wish that people could view more circumstances as opportunities to learn a life lesson earlier on rather than hiding aspects of life that a child will without a doubt have to deal with moving forward in life. Our Psychotherapy Toronto services can help navigate these cultural nuances and support parents in fostering resilience and open communication with their children.
