Social Connection in New Parenthood

Postpartum can be a time of isolation. It can feel like you are the only one awake at 3am while you’re up with a fussy baby. It can feel like everyone else is having fun without you when you can’t make plans because you want to maximize your baby’s nap in their crib. You may long for the regular social interaction with work colleagues that you never realized you needed.

The pandemic brought isolation to a whole new level. Pandemic parents are still reeling from this. So many have been (and perhaps are still) suffering from a lack of family support due to exposure both to baby and to older grandparents or other family members. Seeing friends was dangerous at worst and complicated at best. It is still difficult to calculate what risks we are willing to take. Postpartum + Pandemic = Isolation².

There are many reasons why social connection is important in postpartum. To name a couple major ones: 1) We learn we are not alone in finding at least some aspects of new parenthood difficult. If new parents open up to each other, it can be a huge relief to learn we are not alone, ‘crazy’, or a ‘bad’ parent. 2) We can learn a lot from watching other parents and babies, whether it is learning a new song or activity that baby may enjoy, learning about a helpful product, or observing different strategies or styles around soothing, encouraging physical development, or introducing solids. This can increase our repertoire for taking care of and enjoying baby, while increasing confidence in our baby care and parenting.

Here are a few ways to increase our social connection:

1) Group Therapy for Postpartum Mood and Anxiety

Hospitals offer postpartum therapy groups as a treatment option for parents experiencing postpartum mood and anxiety difficulties. Talk to your doctor if you think you would benefit.

2) Parent groups (virtual or in-person)

There are specific ‘mommy’ or parent groups that aim to connect parents. Examples in our area are Mommy Connections and Nutmeg Moms, where Drs. Satin and Waxman have spoken as guests about maternal mental health and postpartum relationships. Fathers and non-birthing partners also benefit from support, and resources for them are harder to find but increasing.

3) Postpartum exercise group classes

Postpartum fitness and yoga classes are great options to do something for yourself while meeting other parents in low pressure environments where crying babies are the norm.

4) Baby-focused activities

Baby classes such as music classes, story-time at a local library, or play centres are great options. There are a number of great free options in our area including EarlyOn centres, library programs and more. The Children’s Storefront is an example of a hidden gem to discover.

5) online parent groups (facebook and others)

Online facebook groups can be a blessing or a curse, because parenting choices can be divisive and strangers on the internet are often more bold than they would be face to face. Groups located in your area with an option to meet up later would be a great choice if you don’t have a lot of friends with babies. The Peanut app is an example of a way to meet up with other new parents. The popularity of the app speaks volumes- parents have a strong need to connect!

6) Deepening connections

Connecting with the friends and family you already have is an important way to increase social connection. This is a time to push yourself out of your comfort zone and reach out to people, even if you haven’t done this in years or if it isn’t your style. We can feel vulnerable seeking friendship or support from others when there is a risk of rejection. But if we take that chance there can be a big benefit. It is also a time to push yourself to be a little more open with other parents. When we open up about your challenges, others are more likely to open up in turn. We promise you that you not alone.

We are here to help. Contact us for individual psychotherapy or couples therapy at info@wellparentscentre.com or through our contact form.