Lick Your Pups
By: Dr. SAMANTHA WAXMAN
Over the winter holidays, I read “The Deepest Well: Healing the Long-Term Effects of Childhood Adversity” by the incredible Nadine Burke Harris, a pediatrician and California’s first Surgeon General. I know this isn’t most people’s version of holiday reading, but as a psychologist, I could barely contain my excitement over this book.
Although I am not a child psychologist, my clients were all once children. They lived lives before becoming parents, and their experiences have shaped not only themselves, but have implications for shaping their own children. This book dives deep into the impact of adverse childhood experiences (or ACEs) on human beings as they move through childhood into adulthood and beyond.
So, why is this important? If an adult presents as physically and psychologically healthy, why do we need to understand what happened to them in their earlier years? The reason is explained by the research of Felitti and Anda (1998) whereby they found that childhood abuse and household dysfunction are significantly related to the leading causes of death in adulthood.
The ACEs questionnaire is composed of 10 questions (included at the end of this post), and assesses whether an individual experienced any of the following 10 forms of adversity in the first 18 years of life. These include: emotional abuse (recurrent), physical abuse (recurrent), sexual abuse (contact), physical neglect, emotional neglect, substance abuse in the household, mental illness in the household, mother treated violently, divorce or parental separation and criminal behaviour in the household. The questionnaire is scored out of 10, with the higher ACE score indicating a greater risk of health problems in adulthood (e.g., heart disease, cancer, COPD). Perhaps surprisingly, 67% of the of us have had a least one category of ACE, and 12.6% have had four or more! These numbers go across race, socioeconomic status, and religion. It’s everywhere. It’s all of us.
As I was reading through this book, I kept asking myself "how does this relate to postpartum mental health”? Then I read the chapter called “Lick Your Pups”, and immediately the wheels started to turn.
In this chapter, Dr. Harris cites research by Dr. Meaney and colleagues that looked at two groups of rat mothers and their pups, and how the presence or absence of soothing behaviours affected these pups. Rat moms lick and groom their babies, sort of a like a sloppier version of hugs and kisses. Just like human moms, some rat moms were more affectionate with their pups and licked and groomed more than others. The researchers found that the pups’ response to stress was directly affected by whether their mom was a “high licker” or a “low licker”. Pups of high-licker moms had lowers levels of stress hormones. Pups of low lickers had greater spikes of stress hormones in response to stressors, as well as a harder time shutting off their stress response system.
In addition, the licking and grooming that occurred in the pup’s first 10 days of life predicted changes to their stress response that lasted for their entire lifetimes! Even more startling, the changes continued into the next generation, because female pups who had high-licker moms became high-lickers themselves when they had their own kids.
As I read through these findings, I’m struck by how this can relate to postpartum mood or anxiety disorders. When moms are struggling with their own mental health during the postpartum period, they often struggle to fully connect with their babies. Think low lickers. Even if you were likely to be a “high licker” before having kids, depression and anxiety can impact your ability to soothe your baby in the necessary ways to help baby regulate his or her own stress response. We know that maternal postpartum mood and anxiety can lead to babies who have colic (or cry excessively), infant sleep problems, developmental delays, and psychological issues down the road. What’s important to keep in mind though is that only untreated anxiety and depression will affect children.
What’s the take-away?
Your upbringing matters for you and for your children in ways that you may never have considered.
If untreated, postpartum mood and anxiety disorders can affect children.
Hugs and kisses have magical powers.
Therapy can help lessen the impact of ACEs on your life today, and on the lives of your children. Please reach out at info@wellparentscentre.com if you would like to connect with one of our therapists.
If you’re curious about your ACE score, you can find the questions below.
Prior to your 18th birthday:
Did a parent or other adult in the household often or very often… Swear at you, insult you, put you down, or humiliate you? or Act in a way that made you afraid that you might be physically hurt?
No___If Yes, enter 1 ___
Did a parent or other adult in the household often or very often… Push, grab, slap, or throw something at you? or Ever hit you so hard that you had marks or were injured?
No___If Yes, enter 1 ___
Did an adult or person at least 5 years older than you ever… Touch or fondle you or have you touch their body in a sexual way? or Attempt or actually have oral, anal, or vaginal intercourse with you?
No___If Yes, enter 1 ___
Did you often or very often feel that … No one in your family loved you or thought you were important or special? or Your family didn’t look out for each other, feel close to each other, or support each other?
No___If Yes, enter 1 ___
Did you often or very often feel that … You didn’t have enough to eat, had to wear dirty clothes, and had no one to protect you? or Your parents were too drunk or high to take care of you or take you to the doctor if you needed it?
No___If Yes, enter 1 ___
Were your parents ever separated or divorced?
No___If Yes, enter 1 ___
Was your mother or stepmother: Often or very often pushed, grabbed, slapped, or had something thrown at her? or Sometimes, often, or very often kicked, bitten, hit with a fist, or hit with something hard? or Ever repeatedly hit over at least a few minutes or threatened with a gun or knife?
No___If Yes, enter 1 ___
Did you live with anyone who was a problem drinker or alcoholic, or who used street drugs?
No___If Yes, enter 1 ___
Was a household member depressed or mentally ill, or did a household member attempt suicide?
No___If Yes, enter 1 ___
Did a household member go to prison?
No___If Yes, enter 1 ___
Now add up your “Yes” answers: ____
This is your ACE Score.
For support with ACEs or postpartum mental health, consider connecting with our psychotherapy services. To learn more about nurturing parenting techniques, check out our parenting consultation resources.
